Tuesday, Oct. 07, 2008
Possible start to my story
My stomach gurgled with anxious nerves as I waited for the phone to ring. I had been trying with all my inner strength to channel the universe's energy into making things happen in the correct order for me. I was a now officially a week out from on interview and praying the second wouldn't need his full week to decide. It actually felt like the path for my entire future was weighing on this and in truth, it could have been. I needed the higher paying job to accomplish the things I wanted to do before I left Ohio for good in a matter of months otherwise I might as well plan to pack up my debt along with my bedroom and take it all to Kansas and hope I could somehow get it all worked out there.
All of this had made me really annoyed with being an adult. How was it possible that being grown up looked so glamorous to me as a kid, or shit, still looked glamorous on everyone else when I came to think about it. That would bring me back to my biggest worry in life, maybe I was just a defective person. I started to worry shortly after my high school graduation that I would take a wrong turn somewhere early on and never be able to make up for it. Now I was feeling fairly sure I may have done that and wished I could figure out where it was. You know in case someone invented a time machine and I could get the chance to go back and tell my 18 year old self what she needed to do to save herself... or more realistically, I just had a need to know, I guess.
harlemrain at 4:52 pm