Tuesday, Jun. 02, 2009
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I don;t know if I can really debate this with myself any further and do any good, but I don't know what else to do. I hate feeling that this could be my test with God. I'm the one who the made the mistake and now if I fall for it I could believe he's not there?
I don't think it should work that way.
So why am I feeling this?
What did I do this is the first place? Yes it had been a long week, but surely there was a way to get to Kyle or Victoria without dealing with Jackie. Or I could have even just sent the stupid check in to deal with later for that matter.
Please God. I know this was an epic moment of misjudgment and me just not thinking straight, but please don't let me fall for something like this. I can do better. I will do better.
I don't know if this is meant to be my career but I truly feel this is where I'm supposed to be right now and I don't want to lose it over a 27 dollar check I should have left alone.
There are so many different ways to handle this if I could go back and fix it, but I can't go back so I'm left with this and hoping desperately that you'll see fit to show me this mercy.
Please.
harlemrain at 1:21 pm