Thursday, May. 20, 2004
Sometimes it seems like it might be nice to have the Hulk's powers... I have a house or two I'd like to crush
I just can't seem to win this weekend.
I make plans to get out of the house so Captain Poopy Pants can heal from his surgey in peace and now my dad's just called me to inform me that I'll be spending a good chunk of Saturday alone because my psychotic step-mother can't control her aloholic, middle aged party ways for one fucking weekend.
I've already decided I'm coming home fairly early Sunday since he has to work and I don't think I should spend much time with her alone at the moment because I'm still put off by last Sunday's bullshit ordeal.
I'm not saying they should drop everything and rearrange all their normal routines because I'm gracing them with my presence.
But it is so much to ask that I actually see and spend time with my father??
She makes a point to let me know he's her husband now and that means she out ranks me, but you know crazy bitch, I out rank you kids by blood relation and his mommy likes me more than you so I will forever and ever have a one up.
See I can be childish too.
I have to admit I was selfishly excited when I found out the girls wouldn't be there most of the weekend.
I want to see my dad and fact of the matter is I don't see him when those two little screeching, nose mineing, ankle biters are there.
I know I have to compete with "I'm His wife, therefore the world" Kim, but I have a better chance at the moment because he seems to be realizing I'm seriously leaving.
Three four months maybe and I'm gone.
G-O-N-E, gone.
Freaky huh daddy? Little Punkin's a big girl who make decisions you don't always like.
I did let him know that I intend to spend a good part of the dummer with him and my Grandparents.
I toyed with that idea for awhile. Because on one hand, I risk having an a great time with all of them, getting even more attached, and thus making the speration anxiety for all involved much more greater. But, I figured its better for everyone to be upset cause they love and miss me and be excited when I come home, than for me to be crushed cause it doesn't seem like my family misses me.
That still sounds selfish to me... god this thinking about other people stuff can suck.
Anyhoo... my weekend...
So dad and Kim are going out Saturday evening/night, meaning I'm stuck alone at their house after I went over there to spend time with them (honestly I don't mind seeing her at times too), and now I'll be doing there what I probably would have been doping here only now I don't have my computer or my cat.
Huzzah for trying to be a daughter.
I shoulda stayed home and gone to see "Troy" alone.
Better to be depressed while watching Eric Bana and Orlando Bloom than alone in my dad's living room with scaled down cable.
harlemrain at 5:34 pm