Thursday, Feb. 26, 2004
Hurt
I'm tired.
I'm in pain.
I'm taking the easy way out and not going to school today.
I feel like I've been doing that a lot lately.
I can't handle all the stress and responsibility so I just give up and hide.
I just feel so miserable and I don't want to anymore, because I know people around me are miserable because of me and my mood swings.
I�m just so tired and it seems like I only get too little or too much sleep at a time.
I get so close to having a routine and then end up screwing it up.
I just ache.
My head, my body, my heart, everything just aches.
I need a break, like a serious break, not just spring break.
I want time to sort things out, figure out who I am, what I want to do� just be able to think about what I want to think about without pressure to make decisions�
I don�t know what to do with me anymore.
My mind knows it should all be ok and will get better, but I don't feel it.
I just feel lost and alone. Confused and frustrated.
I just want to cry...all the time.
Sob...weep...bawl...you look at me funny and I feel like bursting into tears.
Body wracking, soul ripping tears.
I find myself wishing I could go numb, just for a little while... have a moment where I don't have to feel anything...
I suppose this is mostly my winter blues finally getting the best of me, I dunno... I just know I hurt and I'm tired.
So tired.
I just want to lay down and have peace.
These Days
J. Bon Jovi
I was walking around, just a face in the crowd
Trying to keep myself out of the rain
Saw a vagabond king wear a styrofoam crown
Wondered if I might end up the same
There's a man out on the corner, singing old songs about change
Everybody got their cross to bare, these days
She came looking for some shelter with a suitcase full of dreams
To a motel room on the boulevard
I guess she's trying to be James Dean
She's seen all the disciples and all the wanna be's
No one wants to be themselves these days
Still there's nothing to hold on to but these days
These days - the stars seem out of reach
These days - there ain't a ladder on these streets
These days - are fast, love don't last in this graceless age
There ain't anybody left but but us these days
Jimmy shoes busted both his legs, trying to learn to fly
From a second story window, he just jumped and closed his eyes
His mamma said he was crazy - he said mamma "I've got to try"
Don't you know that all my heroes died
And I guess I'd rather die than fade away
These days - the stars seem out of reach
But these days - there ain't a ladder on the streets
These days - are fast, nothing lasts in this graceless age
Even innocence has caught the midnight train
And there ain't anybody left but but us these days
I know Rome's still burning
Though the times have changed
This world keeps turning round and round and round and round
These days
These days - the stars seem out of reach
But these days - there ain't a ladder on the streets
These days - are fast, nothing lasts in this graceless age
Even innocence has caught the midnight train
And there ain't anybody left but but us these days
These days - the stars seem out of reach
These days - there ain't a ladder on the streets
These days - are fast, nothing lasts in this graceless age
There ain't no time to waste
There ain't anybody left to take the blame
And there ain't anybody left but but us these days
There ain't anybody left but but us these days
harlemrain at 3:49 pm