Monday, Feb. 16, 2004
I'd like to drop a house on her sister
First off, I apologize if anyone took anything from Friday night's melt down entry to heart, I wasn't pointing fingers at anyone specifically and wasn't blaming my feelings on anyone. It was just general bitching and my feelings in a moment of hormone induced self-pity.
It you people haven't noticed yet, I have a tendensy to be sensitive.
Yeah, shocking to discover I know.
Riddle me this, am I being stupid in my attempt to see if Krysti really can be nice to me and maybe she's not lying when she says she misses me?
Maybe she just misses me cause I was who she took her aggression on, I'm not quite sure.
She e-mailed me Friday after about six months of silence.
I think she stepped off because I chewed her ass about a comment she made stateing that she thinks my dad was cheating on her with Kim before she had left for her boyfriend.
My dad may be a poop sometimes, and he's not always the easiest person to get along with or understand, but dammit that's my daddy you stupidity infested whorebag, no one talks shit about my daddy around me. No one.
Ask Captain Poppy Pants about how quiet it gets if he discusses my dad.
Anyhoo, I opened my e-mail saturday to see the following message:
Been thinking about you. How are you doing? I hope fine. So are you
done with school at Cowley this semester or will you still be going more? If you're done this semester what do you plan on doing after that.
So are you dating anyone?
I'm sorry we haven't been able to get together for dinner.
Did I tell that my mom was in a car accident back in August last year?
She ended up getting a broken left arm that required a plate be put in to
keep her bone together. She's fine now but she had to do a lot of physical
therapy and have a follow up surgery to releave pressure on some
nerves.
I've been doing okay. I finished my masters degree last July. I've
applied to the Univ. of Minnesota and the Univ. of Maryland for their Ph.D.
programs. I'm waiting to see who accepts me.
So hows Bazzy doing? I hope fine. How's Tommy and Priscilla doing?
Give them all hugs for me.
Well take care of yourself. I miss you!
Krysti
Yeah, the Wicked Witch lived with me for 4 years and was actually there for the start of the wonderness that in The Baz and she still can't spell her name. Oh and Tommy's a nickname, Pimpcat's name is Taylor, as in the brand of guitars dad drools over,thanks.
Misspelling of cat names aside, I spent a few hours that afternoon pondering why she missed me.
I could understand if she had been anykind of a real parential figure to me in the 11 or so years I delt with her crabby ass.
I could also understand her missing me if she had taken notice of all the nice stuff I did for her in my attempt to gain any kind of acceptance from her.
I spent the fours years I lived with her and my father just trying to make her like me enough to let me exist there without too many problems.
I didn't wanna be her buddy, I was rarely around her unless I had to be, I just wanted to be allowed to live there with some peace.
It wasn't my idea to live there in the first place, I would have prefered to move back to my mom, so I dunno what the Wicked Witch was blaming me for anyway. I had to go through puberty with a father who knew nothing what so ever about girls or the changes they go through from 14-18. So he was just as traumatized as I was... hell probably more, cause in his mind I was still the 6 year old baby girl he left behind when he and my mom divorced. So he suddenly realized I was 14, had breasts, a henious period,killer hormones, and no idea what to do with any of it.
Phew. High School was a rough time, I'd forgotten for a moment just how rough it was...
*shudders* I don't think I was ready to relive any part of that yet.
But yeah to pull the train of thought back on the track to the point here, I don't know why she'd really miss me.
Part of me wants to believe she had some epiphiany and realized I really was a fairly good kid who wanted to get along with her and if she'd have given me a chance show her that somehow, for some reason I did care about her.
Hell one year for mother's day I wrote her a heart felt letter telling her I loved her and hoped we could form a good friendship because she meant a lot to me and then I watched with aheavy heart as she read the letter then tossed it aside with out a word and went back to watching TV.
Maybe she's taken time to think about stuff, I dunno.
I can hope I guess.
I did make a point to mention that I'm moving to Ohio, so maybe they will discourage her from trying to make any plans with me.
The devious part of me also mentioned it to rub in that I'm moving to achieve my dream job while she's still up to her ass in school with little hope of ever finding happyness in a job.
I guess either way I should come out of this alright.
I'll give her a slight chance to show me she's not the Wicked Witch of the North a.ka. Step Monster she used to be, but if she turns out to be as evil as ever I'll kow somewhere inside me that I tired and she's just evil like that.
Part of me still feels kinda guilty though, here my dad's been tryin to get ride of er for over a year and when he finally does, I open the iwndow a crack and peek under to show her a faint glimmer of light.
I have to admit though it is nice to be the one incharge here and know that if I wanted I could get her right up there all ready for being friends and then slam her cheatin fingers in the window and do a evil little dance to taunt her.
harlemrain at 2:43 pm