Friday, Aug. 08, 2003
Father of the Year
No I don't want to go to lunch with you and Kim. You promised me a meal of somekind with just you and me .
See that last statement, that's called being a moron.
You don't keep promises anymore. You can't even keep a simple promise like having lunch or dinner with you're own daughter. But you can try to make me feel bad because I don't want to live with you anymore.
Yeah I was listening to you whole, "I'm lonely with you you sometimes and I miss hanging out with you" bullhonky you pourin on me at the birthday party you didn't bother to tell me we were having early this year.
You make me feel.... I can't find words for how sad I am when I lthink about you anymore...or how angry I am.
You tell me how you have such a hard time dealing with those girls and spending all your free time with them.
So don't.
How about some time for me?
No I don't want to come to your house, because I'll get stuck with the girls so you and your wife can all but have sex in front of me.
I'm tired of seeing them all the time.
I'm tired of spending time with you guys being a family and me being on the outside.
I've told you all my life that I am meant to be an only child .
I'm not goingot rearrange everything about myself so you can think you're being a wonderful dad.
But see this is where it backfires.
I can hope you'll see what you're doing, or that you'll be half as sad for me as I am for you, but you won't be.
You have them now, you've made that clear.
You're too busy being a hero to have anything to do with me.
That's fine. Whatever.
God I'm tired of crying.
That's what happens when I think of you though. I cry and hurt because I know we'll never bond like we had started to once.
I'm trying to get along, but you treat me like i"m seperate family from them, they're you're full time family and I'm just you daughter, you can get to me and my needing you later, I'll still be here.
What hurts is I will be.
You always win.
I need you.
So what if I'm 19?
That doesn't mean it wouldn't be nice to know I still had my daddy there for me...
harlemrain at 11:49 am