Friday, Dec. 19, 2003
Hi Ho Hi Ho.. off to Ohio
So, we're going to Ohio.
Not real soon... but possibly sooner than I was planning on.
Mom's talking about this summer since I've already paid for the spring semester and we have to seel our house before we move.
Oh the gut wrenching anxiety I feel when I think about this.
I'm going, I know that for sure.
But I feel guilty about leaving my faternal family.
They're all falling apart, grandma's about to get her other knee fixed, my great-0grandparents are in rough shape, and my relationship with my dad it strained as it is, I really don't know that this is gonna do anything but put more emotional distance between us.
Yeah he says he'll make sure I get to visit him... but he also said I'd have a room there when they got all moved in.
I still sleep on the couch.
I was all psyched to go.
New chance to make myself a real person in a place where everyone around me knows what a weirdo I am, and if they do think I'm weird, I can blame it on being from outta state...
A school with the exact degree I want and a dream place of employment right there.
But its such a huge change.... so many what ifs...
I'm trying not to worry too much about it all now, since it's still a while away...
But I'm so scared.
I also don't know if I should tell my family yet or not...
Maybe I'll wait until after the holidays... when I already have my gifts...
harlemrain at 1:00 am