Friday, Jan. 09, 2004
Dear Mr. Orkin Man,
I'm sure you're a nice little guy to know and in your own way may mean well when you stop to chat with me.
Problem is I don't want to chat with you. I don't believe I have in any way what so ever indictated that I want to chat with you.
Its not personal really, I don't chat with any of the strangers my parents ask me to let in my house while I'm home alone.
I also don't care to answer the same 150 questions every farkin time you show up.
I always feel fine, my cat is never going to leave my room and frolick happily with the other animals in the house, I know our dog's cute, and yes I often am wearing my pajamas when you stop by.
Which is another issue. When you say 5 be here at 5, not 4:30, that's not early, that's retarded and next time I'm letting you freeze you're smelly ass off in the cold.
Finally my biggest issue today, when a door is closed, knock. Especially if you know its a bedroom of the person who just answered the door in a robe with soppy wet hair and that just rushed out of the bath look.
You already chatted with me about catching me in the shower, why would you barge into my bedroom?
Do you want me to assume you're a pervert and thus call the police, report you to your company to have you fire and further more have you labeled for the rest of your life?
I can do that y'know.
I can be a bitch.
I reassure you that this is a warning... your only wanring... but still a warning.
I want to be try being nice and give you the benefit of a doubt.
But lets be honest here. You annoy me. Seriously annoy me, like very few people can.
The purpose of this is to make tell you what you're obviously to dense to pick up from my body language.
Kill the bugs trying to get into my house. Do what you have to do to do your job.
Leave me the hell alone and stop trying to pet my cats, they don't like you anymore than I do. The dog seems to, but thats because dogs are whores.
Have a day.
Sincerely,
An irate daughter of a paying customer
harlemrain at 5:02 pm