Tuesday, Jul. 27, 2004
I hate feeling and thinking this way, especially about my own parent.
Why the hell am I up at 10:30 on a freakin weekday when I don't have to be?
How's that commerical go again....
Indigestion, upset stomach, bloating, dia-her-ra...
Hey! Phone call from dad-dy!
Have I ever mentioned my dad makes me kooky?
When he's not grumpy, baby talking me, not talking to me, or freaking me out by being nice, my father patronizes me.
Ya'know I could deal with talking down to me, but the fact that he doesn't notice it because it seems to be part of his personality or a habit for him really makes my skin crawl and right eye twitch.
Let's rehash the convesasttion and rant, shall we?
First off he called me at 10 and then asked me "What are you up to?"
You know damn well what I was up to. What am I always doing when you call and hear a groggy "H-loo?"
"I was hoping you were awake..."
"I can be if you need me."
"Well I just hadn't heard from you in two weeks, wanted to make sure you were still alive or somethin..."
Well you obviously figured out the phone works both ways Daddy Dearest... and actually you did hear from me a week ago, but apparently you just ignored me while I told you I was going to have surgery and while I was close to tears telling you something was seriously wrong with my maternal grandmother.
"I'm sorry, been kinda busy..."
"What's going on?"
Translation: I still wanna control what you're doing so tell me all your business...
"Well last week Aunt Joyce and her family was her-"
"Oh good god....how'd you deal with that?"
"Well I guess it coulda been a little better, I had some stomach problems...throwing up and stuff...I think maybe my body's wavelengths just don't match theirs..."
I shoulda known better than to mention body harmony "stuff" to him.
But I've only been in bed for about 4 hours woth an abrupt awakening, so my brain's not completely functional.
"Wavelengths huh? Oh that's deep punkin... where'd you learn that? In those psychology grabble classes you've been taken?"
*fakes amused, mentally kicks self in the ass* "No, just a little personal experience..."
"Oh...who knew you were so deep?"
"Yeah..."
"So what else?"
"I cleaned out house after they left just on a wild hair and went crazy I pulled a few muscles and burned my feet so I spent the rest of the week in bed and hung low this weekend."
"Pull muscles? Lot of cleanin huh?"
"Yeah, house looked nice and mom liked it-"
"What do you want to see for your birthday?"
Eric Bana in a big red bow?
I shoulda said that... but then I'd have to explain who that is and it takes so long that humor gets drained and I'm left with a comment that's used in front of people later to embarresse me.
"I'm not sure yet, I don't know everything that's out? Was there anything you were interested in seeing?"
"No haven't looked...what do you want for your birthday.."
Call Grandma she knows. She cared enough to ask before the week of... ok that was catty...
My mind of course went blank...
"I'm trying to remember my list..."
"You have a whole list do you? Cars and diamonds?"
"None of that right now thanks. Yeah Grandma asked me to make one...I remember I put the "Rocky" boxset and the new Joe Nichols cd on it for sure..."
"Who? Crow Nichols??"
"Joe"
"Bo?"
"JOE"
"Oh... like him now huh?"
Told you that over a year ago... mention him everytime I sit and watch CMT with the girls... you rode in my car with me while listening to his cd and we had a whole conversastion about me liking him...
Ya know, I really don't expect my dad to know everything about me, or even as much as my mom or even grandparents do, but it would be nice for once, just once, to feel like he cares enough to retain any information outside of when my health insurance on his plan expires.
"Yeah, I like him."
"Oh ok...well Kim and I will get you during the day for a movie and then that evening we'll get the girls and go out to eat how's that sound?"
Like exactly what I asked not to happen during the day and like you forget that maybe my momma would like to see her daughter on her birthday too.
I also felt bad because my first thought was that Kim must have thrown a fit or weasled her way into going. But knowing my dad he invited her along not thinking about what I meant by "a movie with me and you".
I thought about maybe mentioning it or asking nicely but then I head an ever so familiar voice in the background...
"Ask her what kinda cake she wants."
My stomach starts churning.
Ya see Kim makes homemade cakes. Dry, tasteless, usually burnt of one side, homemake cakes.
The gesture is sweet and the thought means a lot, but the fact is the cake is nasty and I don't wanna eat nasty cake.
Kim thinks shes a regular Julia Childs in the kitchen cause she memorzied a cookbook or two. The fact is not everyone who cooks all the time can cook. Kim strikes gold every once ina while but her family wouldn't know it because she chokes every damn thing she can in cheese. Thats a whole 'nother rant though.
"What kinda cake do you like? Chocolate?"
"That's fine..."
"Red velvet? What?"
"I don't think I've ever had one of those..."
That's by choice that I've never had one of those.
Between wanting to bust at remembering the "bleeding armadillo" in "Steel Magnolias" and some of the crap I've been force fed in the past, I have no desire to eat red velvet. Betty Crocker's chocolate or yellow cake with chocolate frosting is just fine thank you.
"That's what our wedding cake was..."
Oh yeah because a year and a half ago is fresh in my memory.
"Oh...I guess it's o-"
"Well we'll get in touch with you about final plans..."
"ok"
we hang up and I lay there for half an hour feeling ill and seriously annoyed.
I love my daddy more than life itself but sweet Jesus on sunday does he fry my hide...
I'm goin to bed before I think about this more and work myself into throwin up.
harlemrain at 10:41 am