Thursday, Jul. 24, 2003
See you at 5
Yes a third entry for *today* is necessary.
So you called me and we have plans for tomorrow.
Now I've managed to toe my stomach into all kinds of knots over all the questions and what ifs I'm come up with.
I know how I felt about you a year ago, but I wonder how much has changed, what if I thought I knew you and didn't.
I love you dearly as a friend, but what if you want more?
I'm worried about the possible proposition of dating a friend.
Part of me can see where that could work out wonderfully.
But then the realistic part of me wonders what would happen if we were as compadible as we thought we were?
But you didn't know I could turn going to a movie and a bite to eat into so many questions huh?
You make me more nervous now, mainly because you seem so nervous.
You never seemed this way before.
I understand not liking to talk on the phone, but its not going ot be any easier if you keep calling yourself stupid because you ramble a bit.
All I do is ramble.
Calm down, do worry so much.
Its nice you wanted to make sure the club Kody's band is playing at on Saturday won't bother me, but you really didn't have to make it such an ordeal, honestly I'm fine. You're fine. It's all fine.
Don't worry about food or having something to say.
I'll find something to eat and I'm not a big conversastionalist.
Besides we always found something to talk about without trying too hard.
I'm really nervous for some reason.
Part of me wonders just how much we really have in common.
I have some odd quirks, what if you judge me for them? Think I'm really frickin weird.
Are you as awkward with relationships as I am?
I've only had one thing that was close to a relationship and that turned into a near raped and just an all around scary situation.
So really if something happens, I'd consider you my first boy...friend.
Guyfriend
dudefriend
they all sound and feel weird.
Um, ok, gonna take a deep breath and remind my self tomorrow is just a movie and a sandwich and Saturday is going to se another friend from highschool in his band.
Two friends...buds from high school going out to catch up, have fun.
Ok.......
So if that's it, then why is my stomach still in knots?
harlemrain at 3:27 am