Thursday, Sept. 02, 2004
All the questions in our minds, we surely ask in vain
And I'm already behind on homework.
Wee.
I've been done with this week since Monday evening. I've been going through the motions, pretending to function just to get it done and over with so I can start again next week and try to get things on track.
Curse you daddy dearest, curse you and your fucking up of my stuff.
I've been struggling to get just one of the two assignments due tomorrow done so I can go to bed, but I can't focus on it.
Dr. Libby has again assigned reading (Thank God there's no tantra any where near any of this stuff, I don't think I could handle that again). This time it's a list we pick one book from. I went into this class not really sure of what cognitive psychology was.
I figured cognitive, hmm, prolly something with the mind, cause I'm all smart like that sometimes but I failed to put on my psychology touchy feely hat and think that maybe it would be the study of why we think what we think.
Basically this is going ot be a whle semester of the mental touchy feely stuff the Lauren doesn't dig so much.
I chose a book called "Conversations With God" by Neale Donald Walsch. In the introduction ol Neale lets you know that one day God started talking through him and he just knew he had to share this with the world so he wrote a set of three books with God talking to the people through him and he wants us to know we too can talk with God.
Not only can we speak with God, Mr. Walsch is God's channel so to speak to answer every question we have.
Speaking with God...
That idea alone rocks most of what I've been taught as a Christian in the past 20 years. You pray to God, you give requests to God, you give thanks to God, you don't chat WITH God.
Yes God can gives you signs and show you every now and again that he is there and he is listening, but you don't kick back on the sofa and chew the fat for several hours while watching baseball and having a couplea beers.
You just don't.
So while my mind rattled around ideas of who Neale really was talking with I continued to read. Here and there he makes some points and throws out a few ideas that I really liked or that struck me with some awe, but the basic concept of the book still bothers me so I'm reading a book I get but don't get.
As if I wasn't conflicted enough with my own thoughts.
I plan to do my best to read the book, but I'm not sure I can finish it in 14 weeks as 12 pages have taken me over a week to read and I still don't get everything I've read.
I'm also supposed to watch a movie and give a review type thing on what I feel the under lying thought is and what effects that might have on my thinking.
I decided to do that this weekend.
I feel bad taking advantage of the fact that Dr. Libby doesn't really expect all papers handed in on time, but I also kinda figure it's a bit of good karma for all the times I was sick and other wise afflicted and busted my ass to get stuff done and no one really knew about it.
I also don't plan to do this again because by God I am going to set a damn routine and I am going to keep it for more than two weeks.
My eye socket and cheek bone are starting to throb, I'm going to go finish explain to Dr. Libby in writing that her God talking to guy is about to make my brain implode then I'm going ot bed, later to school, then home and tomorrow I'm going to spend the day with my Bon Jovi videos.
Boo. yaa.
harlemrain at 1:48 am