Thursday, Apr. 01, 2004

Before....BOOBAH!!

I�m typing this in the last 30 minuets or so I have before I have to go to school and receive more work I don�t want to do and thus will probably fall behind on.

I�ve worked fairly hard this morning and have reached a point that I should prolly either take a break, or go turn myself in for the crimes I�m just thinking about committing.

So yeah, break looks good.

Let�s babble!! Do the babble� dootdoot dootdoot dooot dodoot doot doot do the babble�. Sorry the Old Navy �Do the Hustle� commercial has played like 6 times in the past hour�.

What the heck is the point of April Fool�s day?

Who the heck decided to make a �holiday� out of lying and playing pranks that scare the hell outta other people?

I�m not knocking it, I�ve experienced the joy of severely pissing people off by shouting �APRIL FOOLS!� after convincing them I ran over their dog or some equally traumatizing, but I�m really curious how this thing came about.

When I was younger, it seemed to be like it was the one day of the year I could lie my fool head off and get away with it as long as I remembered to shout the key phrase afterwards. As I got older I found the tire joy of scaring the ba-jesus outta my friends� like the time I convinced my friends in high school that I was going to be a cheerleader.

Yes, to my friends that was a terrifying thought. Hell I scared myself a time or two that day with how convincing I appeared to be.

The next year I was a bit crueler and convinced my friend Andrew that I was pregnant. Poor guy, I dunno what had him more distraught, the fact that I did it with someone else instead of him or that the girl he thought he was around to defend was set to face a life of a young single mom.

Poor guy.

Damn that was funny though.

I still end up laughing when I think about it.

It actually became a running joke�and somehow, I think it was Rachel�s doing� it ended up being the scary old janitor�s baby and I was going to carry it around in my bag pack so I could finish school and save money in daycare�oh and so my parents never knew I was pregnant� don�t ask, I don�t even know.

Yeah �I had great friends.

You what show is awesome and should be on later so the Lauren can watch it was Oprah sucks?

The Ellen Degeneres Show.

I love Ellen�well like Ellen a lot�admire�.you get what I mean�

I really liked her sitcom, but like many others lost interested when the show went from a laugh riot to a 30 minute to a touchy feely gayfest.

Don�t get me wrong, more power to the gay person. Do your thing, be who you are, say it loud �I�m Gay and I�m proud�� but please� please stop cramming it down my throat.

I don�t come into your living room and say �Look at me I like penis, wooooooooo yaaaay for the straight people and the matching of the penis with the vagina!! Goooo straight team! Penis, Penis on our man, if he can�t do it no one can!!!�

I don�t expect you to love the fact that I�m straight or expect that you make a big deal about it, so please by all means have the same respect.

Yes I do realize that sexual orientation does effects one�s life�. I like guys so I have to learn to deal with raging stupidity and that I�m basically a walking vagina with breasts to the people I�m looking for a potential partner in and gay people have their own wheeling and dealings to deal with, but that doesn�t mean it should effect the life and every single person you possibly share space with.

So I guess where I�m goin with this is my issues with �gay shows�. Personally I love anything funny, especially stuff that�s so wrong it�s funny. Will and Grace? Love it, make a point to watch it every Thursday. I catch Queer Eye for the Straight Guy when ever I can, most of the time if you I see a movie with a �gay brother� or �gay friend� in it, it doesn�t phase me, they�re another character that ads to the story.

What does get annoying is the medias constant need to shove the sex aspect down our throats.

Really, we get it folks, you�re gay. That�s great. Now shut up about it.

Hell I don�t like watching shows with straight couples that cram PDA down our throats.

But yeah... that�s how I feel about that.

You know what scares the hell outta me?

British Children�s shows.

Anyone who knows three things about me knows I adore the British culture and next to American�s I think their a pretty snazzy group of people (don�t get political on me, I don�t care about that crap�), but as I sat there in horror this morning and watched Boobah on PBS this morning, I had to wonder what the fuck is wrong with these people????

Who the hell purposely subjects their children to crap like this??

The Teletubbies are one thing�.they�re annoying if you�re not in the mood, but for the most part I like Tinky Winky and his purse, rock with you bad purple self Tinker, I hear ya! I tolerated those weird ass Wiggles for a morning or two (they may be Australian actually, but most people can�t tell the difference in accents and for the sake of my rambling argument I figure what the hell�), but honestly if you sat me in front of that shite when I was 3 or 4, I would have asked you what your problem was�(and actually I probably would have thrown a fit screaming �I want my MTV!!!!!!!!� but that�s besides the point huh?) but this Boobah crap�. This is just twisted.

First off I watched as like 8 different kids were shown screaming �BOOBAH� at the top of their lungs to get what they want.

I�m sure millions of parents and daycare workers are loving this new idea for kids, I think I�d rather have a kicking, screaming tantrum than so little hellion screeching �Boobah� at me like a banshee cause he wants another toy.

Second I noticed that they like to show everything going reeeeeeally fast, so now we have one of two more things probably happening�.now the kids are trying to run twice as face and thus slammer harder into sharp objects and hard furniture�or the kids who are sensitive in the tummy as I am are vomiting as the shout �BOOBAH!�

My biggest issue with the show is the puppets, I�m assuming their Boobah�s, but I�m not sure. Anyway, these things seriously look like swollen, seriously infected� penises.

They poke their heads in and out and dance around making strange noises�.

It�s just wrong. Seriously, very, very wrong.

Ok, I will be honest, I do like shouting �Boobah�, it�s a fun word� and was laughing hysterically when I figured out what those demonic little puppets reminded me of�. But this si seriously not something I would sit my little kid down in front of.

No way.

I wouldn�t advise it for stoners either.

Last thing we need are a buncha stoners running around in a panic because of the Boobah invasion.

harlemrain at 6:44 pm

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