Wednesday, Apr. 20, 2005
"Wanna feel the warm breeze/Sleep under a palm tree/Feel the rush of the ocean/Get on board a fast train/Travel on a jet plane/Far away,/And breakaway"
My VCR ate a tape this morning. It�s the same as the one that used to be in the front room down stairs at the house in Wichita, which also ate a tape of mine. I forgot to have my mom help me take it apart and dislodge the tape, meaning that now it won�t stay on at all. Even the DVD player side shuts off. So now I can�t watch any movies.
I begged it not to do be this way. I promised to give it high quality DVDS and Videos, said I�d use it as often as it wanted, but it was all �Mmmmmm�fresh blank tape, yum yum yum��
Bastard.
It appears that I�m in need of comfort tonight.
I didn�t get out of bed until 7 this evening and actually wasn�t so sure I wanted to then.
I was very happy to find that my music note necklace had arrived in the mail from my dad. It broke like right after we moved here and I�ve missed wearing it ever since. It�s an expensive security �blanket�, I suppose.
I was also happy to read the note from my dad. He signed it as �Dad� and put a smiley face in the first D and the under it wrote �Hugs! More Hugs! Okay, one more hug!�
I miss my daddy and I miss his hugs. My dad gives the best hugs. I have like three or four shirts that used to be his and I�ve been wearing them a lot lately. I need to call him tomorrow.
I need to do quite a few things tomorrow actually. I still need to vacuum and put away the CDs I took out for the trip to Kansas last month. I need to go to the movie store and the pet store. I need to start on the three Mother�s Day gifts I want to make. I need to start on another gift I need to make. I really need to stop going to bed at 7 A.M.
I like being up at night. The world�s quiet and peaceful. I can putter around and do nothing with little to bother me.
Trouble is, I also like the sun. I like to be outside when it�s comfortably warm and the birds and squirrels are out. I like to get things done during the day and feel productive. I like feelings somewhat normal and �regular�, like I�m part of the mass majority of people who are out doing things.
I like to sleep all the time and I like to be awake.
I have no idea how to compromise on this one, but I really need to figure something out.
Maybe I should try just getting up to go out tomorrow, and then come home and get some stuff done.
That might work. I�ll try that.
I�m scared of getting gas here. I think this weird thing of not liking to look stupid when I�m trying to work the gas pump. I�ve made a spectacle of myself more times than I can count, so new gas stations scare me. If I can make it, I may wait till this weekend and ask my mom to go with me. That�s sad, I know, but I have special needs.
My former step-mother e-mailed me today. I�m not sure what to do. It was easy to make the break away from all communication when I thought she wasn�t gonna e-mail me anymore. I can�t seem to completely conquer my need for her to like me. Part of me wants to send just a little response saying that I got the package and have already moved. Seems harmless, but then what do I do if she writes back and wants my new address and stuff? I don�t really know how to nicely say, �I�m not giving you that because I don�t trust your crazy ass enough to know if you�ll come try to kill me or not��
If I were more of a snot, I could say I can�t give it to her cause my dad said so, but I don�t want to drag him into anymore crap with her, he had a bigger mess with her and finally got her to leave him be.
I don�t feel right not responding to e-mails. Even when it�s this woman who was so mean and hateful to me, I feel like she deserves some kind of response.
I get annoyed when people don�t respond to my e-mails too. I think its bad manners and assume they don�t like me or are mad at me.
I sent an e-mail to Melissa (at her request) over a week ago and haven�t gotten any response. I�ve seen her update her journal, so I know she�s been on a computer. I don�t expect an e-novel from her or anything, but when you ask someone to e-mail you, shouldn�t you respond to them when they do?
Just doesn�t seem right to me.
I need to work on my stories tonight.
In fact I may go do that now.
harlemrain at 1:05 am