Thursday, Feb. 24, 2005
Celebrity News part deux
Ok, my Yahoo! news page has begged for it.
It's time fooooooor...
"Celebrity News!"
Seriously People of Hollywood, I ask you "What the fuck???"
Actually my first item isn't on my news page, but from TV.
I address the people of American Idol.
12 fairly talented girls and 11 of the creepiest, talent lacking pussies I've ever seen in my life.. oh and a music teacher.
And the judges are going "Oh thsi is the best competition ever!"
Ok I get you have to be nice, but don't lie when it's this glaringly obvious that you were desprit for male talent and this was all you got.
Cancel the seson, be all "Op our bad, see you next season".
But noooooooo, make us sit through weeks of whiney, half ass sung ballads,Mr. "I'm a rocker but I only seem to sing top 40 ballads", Creepy Cleveland, and the oldest 26 year old i"ve ever seen in my life. Yeah that's right Mr. "I make Michael Bolton sound like a reals inger compared to me" I'm on to you...
I say we give the music teacher kudos for being the only one worth our time,a nd clear all the guys off anf let the girls have the chances they're proven they deserve.
It's not sexist when it's obvious the girls do actually have all the talent this year.
Oh and someone smack Ryan Seacrest and shit him up, he's like a fuckin monkey on a sugar high.
I've actually decided not to watch every show of Idol this season, I'll probably watch the girls and catch the elimination shows when I can. This season sucks and after I hung in last season only to be greatly disappointed, I don't feel like doing it again.
I will, however, sue if I girl doesn't win and Creepy Cleveland isn't voted off within the next two weeks.
Ok, now back to my yahoo news page.
"Prince to Present Oscar at Ceremony"
Yes, because Prince has sooooo much acting talent.
Am I seriously the only person in the world who's actually watched "Purple Rain" and saw it for the true P.O.S it is??
Look I'll give the guy credit for having "talent" in music and respect his contributions for it, but I am never ever ever ever ever going to acknowledge him as an actor.
I won't do it and you can't make me.
"U2 to Be Inducted by Springsteen"
That's fitting, on blow hard inducts another.
They travel in pairs you know.
Don't get me wrong I like U2 (when they're actually being a band and producing desent music) and have a handful or two of Springsteen's stuff that I like and again give them all the respect they deserve for what they've contributed to music.
But who else isn't tired of Bono trying to single handedly save the world on African country at a time and make the rest of us feel like shit because we happen to be born in real hospitals and get to eat food.
I'm sorry I eat food!
Meanwhile Springsteen spends his days rallying for men without souls (sounds like a band name, aye?) and acting like everyone should give a fuck who he votes for because he had a few hits in the 80's and wrote the "Jerry McGuire" song.
I don't give a flying fuck who you vote for mister man, hell I don't even care the Jon Bon Jovi is gong in the same misguided direction, you're a SINGER, shut the fuck up about politics and sing me a song.
"J.Lo Comes Clean: She Is, in Fact, Married"
Well after the Spanish soap opera the world endued at the Grammy's.... who the hell cares??
I didn't care the first 16 times she was married and I sure as helld on't care now that Marc Anthony's trying to make money off the J.Lo machine.
I'm sure she's a nice woman, nice ass, whatever, but I honestly don't care.
I also don't understand how she stays a float in the media like she does when she only works every 4 years and flops half of the time.
"Lohan's Dad Says Her Career Isn't Damaged"
...
...
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Career?? AHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA
CAREER? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA
I can't do this one right now....
That's funny.. career...
"Houston Gets Ill on Airliner, Hospitalized"
I assume the mean Crazy "One time in the 80's I was white" Whitney.
What the hell is up with illness in Hollywood?
Thats like the thrid or fourth female celebrity who's been hosplitized this week.
They're droppin like flies.
Is someone havin a party no one wants to go to or what?
Hmm... maybe they're all trying to avoid being called as witnesses for Michael Jackson...
I'd play dead to get out of that one myself.
"Rock Star Ozzy's Son Has $382,000 of Gems Stolen"
Do you think Sharon and Ozzy set out to the a set of the stupiest kids on the face of the planet or did that just kinda happen?
The Osbournes seem to have a problem with keeping their jewelry in their possession.
Maybe instead of owning a bizillion dollars worth of jewelry they could give osme of their bazillions to Bono for his third world kids so he'll leave those of us who have to actually work hard for our money and food alone.
Like a modern "We Are The World" thing... but with our Michael Jackson... if if he doesn't touch little kids, he's still creepy.
harlemrain at 3:19 pm