Wednesday, Jan. 14, 2004

she's so scared to go, but still she says goodbye

She was standing at the station

small town suitcase in her hand

there were dreams she found inside her

that no one cared to understand

she never talks about her childhood

so much past to leave behind

she's so scared to go

but still she says goodbye.

When you walk that road

you walk alone

just an undiscovered soul

in the great unknown

when you only hope

is to find a home

just an undiscovered soul

in the great unknown

I finally got the nerve to tell my dad I'm moving to Ohio.

He seemed to take it well.

I think it helped that I opened up and told him everything I had thought about and been feeling.

He continued to say he understood and that if I felt this was the right opportunity I should take it.

I promised him that I was in no way just taking off or abandoning him.

I'm just gonna live further away.

I fought tears the whole time I was talking to him.

I don't want to leave my 'daddy', I really don't.

But as I've rambled before, I really feel like this is the best choice for me to make right now.

I've never been excited to take a risk before.

Never wanted change like this.

Now if only I could get the nerve to tell my grandparents.

I've probably spent more or at least as much time with them in my life as I have my father, but when it came down to it I couldn't manage to be as open with them as I am my dad (which isn't that much).

It's always seemed like a world away from the world up there.

I don't have much responsibility there and I'm still a little princess.

I'm afraid they'll be more likely to think I'm abandoning them.

My grandma's real good at putting up a front and smiling at you and telling you shes happy and in reality she's hurting inside.

I don't want to hurt anyone, but I don't know how to explian everything to them to help them understand.

I still have a while and my dad's mostly likely going ot mention it to them, so maybe that'll break some of the ice and I'll just have to try explainin it all.

In the search of our salvation

relentlessly we climb

just looking for a reason

in creation's grand design

if patience is a virtue

then let us humbly begin

we'll be here waiting

'til our ship comes sailing in.