Monday, Dec. 13, 2004
"How deep is your love/I really need to learn..."
I typed up a light hearted, comical, orgasmicly fantastic entry earlier today but diaryland apparently couldn't handle posting all of it's goodness for the public to see and swallowed it whole when I clicked the sumit button.
Diaryland is a hateful, vengeful, jealous, shrew of a bitch sometimes, ya know?
Problem is she holds two years of my life's huge change and growth and is far more appealing to me than any other diary/journal (blogs don't count, blogs suck...ugh I hate that word... blog... ew... blooog... *shudders*) type thing that I've seen and moving all this stuff would just be work and annoyance that I don't want or need, so with the hateful,vengeful, jealous, shew or a bitch I stay.
I did my best to study for my final in History but I'm afraid my out look is slightly bleek and uncertain. I have the feeling I have at least a low A and have come to accept that I may end up with one or two Bs this semester so I'm not too worried, I just don't like feeling unprepared, especially after three hours of studying.
Tomorrow I take my test, pay a quick visit to my dad, and then hurry home to throw my last paper together.
I have planned to get it at least started today but that just didn't happen, so tomorrow it is.
I've slipped back into my Gibb brothers obsession. Not to say it really ever goes away, it merely slips below the surface of my mind to make way for other things.
I'm not sure what brought it back to the surface, but apparently my mind is ready for a carefree escape from the world.
Thats what The Bee Gees and Andy Gibb are to me, a care free escape from the world. Even their sad, heart breaking songs make me feel better at times. Their music is like a whole other world.
Bon Jovi and Def Leppard help me cope with this world and deal with my life and reality, come to terms with the way things are and way. The Bee Gees help me escape all of it completely for a little while, I got to a happy places where I can dance and sing without worry and the weight of things. Sometimes I can share it with someone, but for the most part it's my own little island.
Before I discovered the Bee Gees I never really understood what people meant when they said they felt as if they knew people they had never met. People who would obsess over singers and actors and go on and on as if these people were actually part of their families or inner circles.
It wasn't until Maurice Gibb passed away and a few months went by that I realized how much I missed him. How much I missed knowing the Bee Gees were still around.
I was watching some Disco dance party thing on PBS last week and was very happy to see them pause to give due respect to the Bee Gees and Maurice. As I was sitting there tearing up during "How Deep Is Your Love" I again thought it myself, "Wow, I really miss him."
I don't know why I feel this connection, it does seem a bit odd to me. I just can't seem to explain it.
So I'll stop trying...
and go sort out my socks and underoos to wash so I don't have to go to school without socks and underoos tomorrow.
harlemrain at 11:39 pm