Tuesday, May. 13, 2003
Maybe stress makes me whine
Is it some kind of cosmic law that I can't have two desent days in a row?
Yesterday didn't seem too spectecular in the moment, but now its lookin like th fuckin highlight of my life.
Captian Poopy pants came home this morning, which I thought would be a good thing since yesterday they said it would be sometime in the afternoon.
Well since I was a retard and stayed up to greet the day, if figured that my dad decided to keep his word and call me for lunch.
I wasn't really looking forward tot his tho, because it was lunch with dad and Kim, which means Lauren sits there and stares off into space wishing for an instantly fatal bought of food poisioning while Dad and Kim carrying on conversastions that I have no input on or interest in.
Now before you acuse me of being completely egocentric, I'm not sayin they should make sure I can part of every single conversastion. But, when I'm told they wanna have lunch with me and its a given that all involved are rearranging scheules of some kind, its implied that they wanna see and talk to me.
If I wanted to be left out of conversastions and wish for death by freak accident, I'd stay home and hang out with Mom and Captian Poopy pants while they talked about work.
So now I'm annoyed and thanks to the nasty foo foo food they made me eat, I'm gonna vomit at any moment.
I'm thinking about inducing it so I can get it out and over with and go take a nap.
Yes I know purging isn't a good habit, but right now it sounds better than feeling this rice slide around in the gallons of olive oil I ingested just from breathing the air in that place.
Oh the home front, things are just as cheery and gay.
Captian pooopy pants has been in formed again that he's diabetic, and this time it sounds like the doctors are holding him to it.
So naturally he's spreading love and joy to everyone here in happyville.
Mom's talking about a diet change for the family. She'll still buy me junk food if I want it but I'm going to have to hide it.
I thought he was an adult?
I told them about this happening at dad's house with the wicked witch and they thought it was awful and unjust.
Why was there no change for me?
Food makes me physically sick, yet its all around me.
I have see and smell everything he shoves down his throat, sometimes I have to smell it for days at a time.
I wouldn't have a probem with the whole diet change if I didn't feel like he got special treatment just because he's such a big fucking baby.
I had a cloged organ that was onthe verge of bursting and poisoning my body, thus being fatal. At the time of surgery I hadn't had a bowl movemrnt in almost two weeks. I lost 30 pounds, barly ate anything, and when I did eat, I vomited it up without warning.
What happen to me afterwards? Well besides the scars, painful scar tissue, remaining stomach problems, most of my diet being taken away leaving me all but completely vegan, and no one understanding or seeming to care, not much.
My family didn't really call to see how I was or make much of an attempt to help me adjust to my new dietary needs. If they even ask me about it's "Are you eating like a real person yet?" like this is something I find funny.
My dad was all conserned until after the surgey, then it was like I was supposted to be magicaly cured.
He now acts all baffled and confused when I get stomach aches after eating. He also just can't seem to understand why I don't eat much. Go figure dad.
My grandparents on't seem to give a flying flip. Grandma Crow just wants to out do me in pain and suffering, Grandma Bradford thinks its all in my head, and my grandpa's just don't ask me about it.
Yeah my mom took care of me, but it did kinda hurt me today that she stayed home for him, but went back to work the day after my surgery.
He's not in any pain, says he never was.
I on the other had nothing but pain and all I wanted was my mom, but instead I had Captian Poopy face.
Not a fair trade, I assure you.
My grandpa Crow was there with mom yesterday while Ernie was in surgery, has talked about praying for Ernie many times, and called several times through out the day to check on Ernie.
I dont doubt he called my mom a time or two for me, but I sure don't remember feeling like I had people praying for me.
So why is it someone who throws fits, insults people without thinking, and acts like the world shoud stop for him gets all this affection and attention, while I was left in a bed and now have to fend for myself and explain and reexplain that same shit over and over because no one cares to understand?
I just don't understand.
harlemrain at 1:21 pm