Sunday, Jul. 20, 2003
My grandpa's ok
Grandpa's doing much better.
His surgery took an hour and a half less than the doctor said it would and he only spent the night and half of Saturday in SICU.
He says he's not in a lot of pain, but I think he just doesn't want to alarm anyone.
The nurses and really nice and seem to be taking care of him fairly well.
I finally stopped crying yesterday.
I came to accept sometime last year that I will die someday and should it be today, I could go having a fairly good idea of where I'm going.
But, being the backwards person I am, I haven't accepted that my family members will die as well.
Particularly my parents and grandparents.
The doctor basically said that grandpa should have had a massive heart attack last year, he only had 20% of his blood oxygen flowing.
I cried all day Friday terrified something would go wrong in his surgery.
We got to see him about an hour after he came out.
He was still asleep obviously since they usually put the patient in a mini coma to ensure they rest.
I knew he'd look sick since they have to shut the entire body down to work on the heart and that he would be hooked up to all kinds of tubes and would have a ventalator.
I did ok, until I stood and watched the ventalator work, watching his chest move up and down mechanically, and then a saw how they strapped his hands down.
It all got to me and I ended up crying again.
I spent all thusday night throwing up and ended up getting sick at the hospital.
We grandpa's allowed to go home, this next week or so, I'm going to stay with them again and help him so grandma doesn't have to give up all her vacation time.
I've been sleeping the past few nights, but I don't feel like i"m getting any rest.
I'm so tired I feel like I could drop at any second.
So on that note I'm going to go watch Nation Lampoon European vacation and drool over the cute guy playin Rusty and go to sleep.
harlemrain at 8:49 pm