Tuesday, Jul. 15, 2003
I want my grandpa
So I had a plan to sleep all day yesterday and then spend today with my mom and this evening I was going to write my long entry on my experiences last week with Grandma and Grandpa and their Baptist church.
Someone else however has other plans for me I guess cause now I'm too jumbled inside to think straight.
Lets go back to the beginning of today, ending of yesterday.
Being a genius I stayed up till 6 this morning trying to find a show I recored years ago because I'm going to be uneasy until I find it and know its still safely recorded for me to watch anytime I wanna see the Osmonds sing Christmas music (so sue me, I like God's people).
So I slept all day meaning I still have wet jeans, a stinky bra and no clean underwear and I hardly saw my mom at all.
I recieved a phone call from my dad around 2:30 and the first words he utters are "I have something to tell you and I don't want you to get upset..."
That's nice, instead of upset, hows about I just frickin freak out and try to hide it?
I immediatly think somethings happened to Kim because for some reason I was thinking about her and the stuff that happened a few months ago.
It turns out my grandpa has been having chest pains and today finally asked his doctor at his regular check up for his diabetes. The doctor ran a test and then instructed him to go to a cardiologist.
They let him go home tonight but he has to come back tomorrow to have a cathiter thingy done, which is what Captian poopy pants just had and resulted in having a stent put in his heart.
So now I'm left to sit here and wait and worry and pray.
I don't think Ic oculd handle losing my grandpa yet.
I'm terrified of what will happen to my grandma.
My grandparents are two people that I believe are supposed to live together, without the other they'd be lost.
I'm scared.
Ever since grandpa was diagnoised with diabetes its like his heath has just gotten worse.
He hurts a lot and has become more irretable.
Its like he went from being old like a grandpa's supposed to be to actually old.
I don't like watching him turn old, because that means his body's winding down and I don't want to lose him.
I want him to be there when I have my first child and be able to hold them.
My serious hope is that he can be there for my kids like my great grandpa Bever has been here for me.
I've been really lucky to have my great grandparents through out my life.
I hope my kids can be that lucky.
Anyway, I'm near tears and don't want to talk about it anymore.
So I won't.
harlemrain at 8:40 pm