Wednesday, Apr. 23, 2003
This is the story of a girl who bitched a lot 'bout the whole world.....
It's raining again.
Mother nature is fuckin with me something fierce.
First my body when all outta whack and crazy and now the weather's messing with me.
I hate having to go to school when it rains...I could have had a full, comfortable, perfect nights sleep last night and still would have fallen asleep today in class.
Well actually I would haven gone to sleep if there hadn't of been so much tension around me today.
I got up late like last week, only had 30 minutes to get ready...but I actually was able to get up and around and was in a pretty good mood.
I wasn't so happy about the possibility of driving in the rain and facing death in a down pour again...but still I was doin pretty good.
My friend and I are supposed to be doing a project together in class but I kinda feel like I'm the only one trying to push things into motion.
We're on our third or fourth topic change now simply because I don't want to spend time researching yet another topic for school.
Yeah that's lazy, but I'm lazy so that's how it goes...
I'm really not thrilled with this whole project because I really don't feel comfortable standing up into front of these people and spouting off about sex.
Yeah I know, sex is natural, sex is good...but I've never actually had it, so I can't really say I'm an expert by any means.
My friend has just started having sex in the past few months, so she's not much more experienced than I am.
To top it off, she seems to have some serious issues with it. She'll tell you alllll about them if you ask, and says shes taking the class to work though them...but I don't think she's trying to work on anything.
She's got negative vibes part of time anyway, but in this class, she can get almost unbearable to be around.
So days aren't as bad as others and I know I'm a moddy bitch too, but this just gets crazy sometimes.
Today she had a catty comment for every person that spoke in class, she had a comment for every thing said in every presentation, and others that she threw in at random, as if the others weren't enough.
I've tried not responding to her but that doesn't seem to work.
Instead she gets bitchier, thinking that she needs to be more in my face to make sure I'm hearing her or something.
I like her most of the time, except in this class.
I'm really not sure I wanna do this project with her anymore, just simply because it requires extra time with her after class...and I usually need a break.
What really aggrivates me is that she keeps going on and on about how good she wants this project to be and gives ideas, but she doesn't give ideas we can use and get a good grade.
She just wants to get up and spout a buncha crap off that people prolly already know.
She thinks it would just be the funniest thing in the world to hold up a big picture of a penis.
I laughed a bit the first time she mentioned it, but being an adult, the joke wore off quickly and now its starting to annoy me.
She also doesn't show any desire to actually work on the project itself.
She'll throw out her ideas, but I'm left to try and make something out of them.
I feel like I'm the one who's going to get stuck puting everything together and that pisses me off.
Especially in this case. See in middle and high school I always got stuck with the "left over" kids who didn't work simply ecause I was shy and afraid of rejection, so I was a left over too.
I always ended up doing most of the work and eventually became bitter and possessive.
In high school I refused to give credit to anyone in the group that didn't at least try to help.
In college I didn't think my teachers would still be trying the whole, work with your peers thing, I kinda hoped I'd be left the fuck alone to do my own thing and be responsible for my own grade.
I hate knowing that one mistake from me could screw someone else's grade over and their mistakes could screw me as well...probably because I'm usually the one who gets bent over and stuffed...
Well like I said my friend hasn't really shown any desire of doing any real work at all on this project. So this means that I'll end up doing it and she'll want credit. Being friends this causes all kinds of problems I don't want to deal with... *sigh*
I guess I'll learn my lesson eventually and stop working on projects with friends.
So, yeah, thats it, its a long ass rant so maybe that makes up for a day or two.
harlemrain at 4:05 pm