Monday, Apr. 19, 2004
Neener neener
I wanna move. I'm gettin restless here.
I'm tired of dealin with this stupid school, tired of my dad tryin to talk me out of something I've obviously committed myself to with a passion, I'm tired of waiting.
I don't talk aboutit much because people around me bring it up for me.
My dad can't say three words to me without hinting that he resents my going.
I think he mainly resents that I'm leaving to chase a dream I seriously believe in and I'm going in my mom's car.
I've mentioned before they my parents don't get along real well, but in all honestly, that's mostly my dad's doing.
My mom is where I get my just trying to exsist and do my thing temperment from.
You leave us alone and let us toodle along down the road of life doin or thing and everything will be hunky dory...you fuck with us and we'll fuck with you back.
My mom can be a bit more vendictive than I can.
She's got the advantage of not minding confrontation as much as I do.
So when dad tries to fuck with her and ruffle her feathers, she's fucks with him back and gets his panties in all kinds of bunches...and my dad being a man goes after me since I'm closer to his reach than she is.
He knows I'm terrified of him.
That's how he's controlled me all my life.
What he hasn't realized yet is that's a big part of why I'm moving away form him...physically and symbolically.
I'm tired of living my life scared of what daddy'll think...
It's time for me to worry about what The Lauren thinks.
The Lauren wants to movie to Ohio and try for our dream job as a music historian at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame....so I'm goin to Ohio.
Nyah.
harlemrain at 10:26 pm