Monday, Jun. 30, 2003
Again I say "WELCOME TO MY SHOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!!"
AHHHHHH!
RICK F*CKIN ALLEN!!!!
I met, talked to, and had my arm around Rick F*ckin Allen!!!!!
I also met Phil F*ckin Collen and Vivian Manwhore Campbell.
Holy shiznits Batman!!
Ok ok ok ok ok, getting control here....
I'll start at the beginning of it all.
I managed to be all packed up and ready for Brynn and Amanda on Wednesday...
Or so I thought.
We're toodlin along for about two and a half hours and this nagging feeling just keeps gnawing at my stomach.
I've felt this for the past few days, I'm forgetting some and its big...
Suddenly I remember something...
"Hey guys guess what, I don't have my tickets!!!"
(O_o)
So two hours back to meet mom and two hours to get back where we were, we finally made it in ST. Louis to stop for the night at like 12 when we should have gotten there at like 8 or 9 (sorry guys : /)
We made it to Iowa the next afternoon after dealing with a buncha roads and construction and checked into the hotel.
This hotel was strange, the smoking halls smelled like butt and the non-smoking hallways smelled like Aquanet hairspray.
There also wasn�t crap for parking, but anyhoo�
Thursday night was the Poison concert.
None of us were die hard fans, but we knew quite a few songs between us and figured it�d be fun and we could scout the place out for the next night.
He arrived at 3 and then waited till 5 to be let in, then we waited another two hours for the VIP seating to be let in.
This VIP seating, was crappy. First off there were no assigned seats, so once you sat you�d better stay put.
They also had metal chairs, that looked like fun after they�d sat out in the hot sun all day.
Finally we were let into the VIP area, Brynn snagged my arm and said, hey lets stand up here by the stage.
I figure what the heck, I�m here to try new things.
The show was supposed to start at 8, meaning the band should be on stage at 8.
Well the divas of Poison decide they have to be special and have an opening band.
These guys weren�t that bad for the most part, but damn if they didn�t like solos.
I�m sorry, but a 15 minute drum solo of the same three beats just isn�t exciting the third time around, no matter how far you can stick your tongue out like Gene Simmons.
9 o clock rolls around and Poison�s due to start�.9:05�.9:15�.9:20�.I�m beginning to think they aren�t really here� finally at 9:30, when the crowd around us is starting to get serious pissed at each other, the band starts.
It�s a fairly good show, even with CC Deville and Bret Michaels up front.
We got stuck on CC�s side of the stage and I was right, he is uglier in person.
He looks like he�s having a seizure half the time he plays and tonight he looked like someone had beaten the crap out of Phyllis Diller with an ugly stick.
Very scary.
I was also up front when Brett raised his arms and revealed that he shave his arm pits.
How special.
Back up a bit, when the first song started, I felt this rush of energy from behind me, then all of a sudden, everyone in the back is trying to get up front and we were all thrown into the little tooth pick fence they had as a barrier to the stage.
It was crazy, I had a second where my life flashed before my eyes.
They rushed the stage again at the end and the ever so intelligent Mr. Michaels decides to throw shirts out into the over heated, drunk, ready to riot, irate audience, and of course all hell broke loose.
The shirt went over my head and as I was making sure it went over me and far away, my hand got caught in it.
This guy and chick are fighting over her heatedly and I�m sure my thumbs gonna twist off.
I finally got free around the time he got her in a head lock and punched her.
Eventually he knocked her to the ground and took off.
We made it back to the hotel in one piece, but Brynn was less than happy.
She stayed down stairs to call her mom and sent Amanda and I upstairs.
Amanda and I got up stairs to realize we don�t know our room number.
We spent five minutes trying to find out where we belonged and finally Amanda got smarted than me and suggested we go back down stairs and find Brynn.
We finally make it in the room and after putting everything the three of us saw together try to clam down from our near death experience.
I�m putting around on my computer and talking to Brynn while Amanda gets ready for bed.
Then we start talking about the
I had thought about asking my mom to try for one of these, but you only get two passes and there�s three of us, so I figured it wouldn�t be fair, cause I wouldn�t know who to take with me and I�m sorry, but I�d have to go cause I�ve never met Rick F*ckin Allen.
The Brynn says something I didn�t catch and a few seconds later she goes, �Lauren, are you listening to me?�
�Huh? Wha?�
�I won one.�
I nearly peed my pants and bawled.
Actually, I did cry.
I excused myself to the bathroom to freak out for a bit and when I came out, they told me I got to go since my trip to KC last year was a little under pare in its ending and since my birthday�s coming up.
(Pause for a shout out)
I LOVE MY ADOPTIVE SISTERS!!!!
YOU GUYS ROCK MY SOCKS!!!
Ok ok ok, back to my speed storytelling�
So we talked about that forever, cause I was freaking out and they were laughing at me.
I wanted to call my mom, but I don�t think she wanted to be woken at 2 AM so I had to wait.
I didn�t sleep for crap and spent most of Friday acting like a Circus monkey on speed.
I was terrified I was going to freak out and end up being remembered as �The Chick who threw up on Rick F*ckin Allen�s feet�.
I was so scared of doing it, I ate plain oatmeal for breakfast, it helped, but damn that was nassy!
It was around 1 when Envy (her name�s Julie, but feel weird callin her than cause that�s my mom�s name�and her nick name was Momma, and well that�s what I actually call my mom, so she�s Envy to keep me from confusing myself.) and Anne showed up.
When Amanda called them, Envy said she had a surprise and it turns out that Brynn was going for both sets of passes, but someone out bid her at the last minute�that someone was Anne.
Fate�s freaky sometimes.
Envy and Anne we�re both really nice.
Anne lives in Iowa but had the chance to live in England for a while, so it was cool talking to her about it. She was mostly quiet though.
Envy was a riot. She�s probably the only other die hard Leppard fan from Kansas (that I know f at least) and actually moved to Iowa the day of the concert here (talk about a pixed off chick).
I actually wasn�t sure she liked me all that much, but apparently she did cause after the show at Perkins she told me I was �just so damn cute� *blushes*.
She also started callin me Baby girl, I guess since I was the youngest of the group and since her nickname was Momma.
I felt special, never really had a nickname before (a nice one anyway)�
We got to the stadium thingy to wait in line around 2 or 3, we knew we needed to get their a bit early since I was put of a waiting list for tickets in like March, so peoples were showin up for this one.
We decided to go to the other end of the stage tonight (they ignored to my protesting about it cause I wanted to be on Sav�s side dammit!).
We stood forever and ever and ever, I think all of us ended up with sunburns.
The show was friggin awesome.
I stood between Envy and Amanda.
God Amanda and I were laughing through the entire show.
Instead of singing the correct lyrics, we were shout-singing the dirty ones we had come up with on our previous trip.
I didn�t think much of it until I got to �Four Letter Word�.
The last few lines of the chorus go like this�
�Lust can kinda be nice
but it ain�t L O V E�
I decided on day to change the words to
�Lust can kinda be nice
so lets go F * C K�
So I�m shout singing and clearly pronouncing the letters when all of a sudden I look up and find Phil F*ckin Collen grinning at me.
Oops! Heh heh.
Other happenings in the show�.
It was funny to watch Joe trying to shoo off the billions of bugs swarming everyone around the stage.
I also about passed out when he looked our way and smiled at all of us.
Mr. Savage nearly took a dive off the stage.
He decided to play cute and lean against the metal from holding the stage up.
I saw his hand slipping for he straighten his arm all the way out and sure enough there he went.
I was terrified, right underneath him on the concrete ground was a big metal box.
What was funny was Envy had her mouth covered it horror, Amanda was pointing and laughing and I held my arms out to catch him.
Luckily he caught himself and could laugh about it.
He actually looked at all three of us with this �Did you see that shit?� look.
I got lots of pictures, but being a dork used my camera up during the show, so Brynn was wonderful (again) and took pictures for my at the meet and greet after the show.
Since I speeding through this, I won�t recap all the drama it took to get back there�
Just say that it took a lot and I was sure Envy and Brynn were gonna get in fights and thrown in jail and had no clue how Anne, Amanda, and I were going to get them out.
While they were chasing guards and ready to fight, I was in front of the buses, ready to cry.
I was so sure I had jinxed the whole thing for everyone by calling my mom and dad.
So between my guilt and the let down of being so excited and then facing the possibility of not meeting him after all, I was near tears again.
But Envy and Brynn came through by finding the head of security and he was about the only person who knew anything was going on.
So we were led back.
First we met their famous road manager Malvin.
He was really nice and asked their names and then led us up to this ramp to the side of the stage where Rick F*ckin Allen was trying to eat his dinner.
Now here�s what shocking, I was actually calmed by his presence instead of hyped up even more.
There aren�t words for how friggin nice this guy is!
He asked how we liked the show and where we were all from.
When I told him Wichita, he asked if I saw the show there and then grinned when Brynn told him we saw the Wichita and St. Charles shows.
He then ask how we got our passes and about the ordeal we went through, apologizing for it like it was his fault or something.
That�s when I realize Phil F*ckin Collen�s standing next to me.
Holy shit Batman!!
Now this is a cool guy.
He�s also beyond words and it was weird, he stood there chatting like we were people he knew or something.
It was awesome.
He even showed us his toes to compare them with Envy�s.
But, this is the pisser, I�m standing in awe of being next to two men I�ve idolized and drooled over since I was in diapers and I blanked out on getting Phil�s autographed!
I had the friggin pen uncapped and everything!!!!!
I was the last to get Rick�s autograph and I felt like a dork telling him my name.
He asked and I told him and his face lit up �Really? L-A-U-R-E-N?�
*blushing 50 million shades of red* �Yeah�
�That�s cool, that�s my daughter and my fianc�e�s names�I�m just surrounded by Laurens!�
I smile like an idiot again, he starts to say something else when I hear Brynn say my name.
I see her stand with Phil�s arm around her, while the other one�s up and he goes �You wanna get in this picture real quick luv�
Well now I feel like a dork, I didn�t know they were waiting on me and I was all caught up in Rick F*ckin Allen.
So I go over and take the picture, about die when Rick jumps in so again I have his arm around me and this time its at the same time as Phil�.heh heh heh I was a Rick and Phil sandwich�
I know I sound like a teeny bopper dork here, but I don�t care cause I met them and you didn�t.
Anyway, so I watch Phil walk off and that�s when I look down at my sharpie and CD booklet and could just kick my own arse.
At least I had my picture.
Rick tells us he has to go get ready to leave and we go down to where Vivian �Manwhore� Campbell is signing autographs.
Ok, first off I think Vivian is awesome and its with the utmost love and respect that I call the little leprechaun a manwhore.
I watched him kiss like 20 different girls on the lips and not one of them looked older than me.
I didn�t get his autograph cause lord knows where his fingers had been and I didn�t want groupie/manwhore cooties on my Rick F*ckin Allen sharpie.
Brynn and I got a picture and he seemed really nice, looked and me with a smile and said hi.
He smelled good to, but I did have to joke with Envy about it being a unisex scent to throw his wife off of his extra curricular activities.
I then tagged along with Brynn as she tried to get a hold of Malvin for a picture.
It was kinda funny cause I kept smelling something that smelled really good�like green tea.
I was looking around for who it was and then we got Malvin to hold still and I realized it was him!
We saw Joe come out, but he went straight to the bus and had his sling on, so he may have been in a lot of pain from his surgery and Sav�s a very shy, private person so I didn�t figure I�d get to meet him.
Before we left I finally got Phil�s autograph.
After all this fun and excitement we all realized we hadn�t eaten since that morning so we decided to go to Perkins.
There I talked to my mom who dared me to call my dad�s answering machine shout �I F8cked them all!� and hang up.
I didn�t do it.
No, it doesn�t sound like fun�it just sounds like the Lauren would get her arse kicked for shouting obscenities so her little step-sisters could hear them.
So needless to say I had my socks f�in rocked off again!
DEF LEPPARD F*CKIN ROCKS!!!
harlemrain at 7:18 pm